Hellove

Good evening land of the los. Black eyes and battered hearts slithering with essays and projects leave this man gasping for air. Every good mother tells their child not to pick their scabs because they will fall of naturally. We trudge daily looking for purpose, whether it be in a fleeting moment of a lifetime of memories, sometimes its just nice to have a moment. Change is artifice, but we have trained our women to strive for the artificial. I've revere those who can simply turn the page and brush off the prior chapter. And I could spend my whole life looking for an identical but it takes two to fall.

And for my loyal readers of all whom do not exist, hellove and goodbye.

gilt

How could I become anything to be but not existent in a presently unavailable mind my darling but the tide is high and the ocean is deeply looking into your stark black eyes as sharp as a tack. We could watch that wind catch bird's wings and lift them into the sky falls down and the night begins to fade with me underneath the deliriously rationalizing all events to follow may be disclosed to closure being sought by infancy falling to my crawling knees to find meaning in the meaningless words you've spat before me. Idealize this idol of certain stature but lack the colour in my breath becomes visible in weather so cold hearted black lunged and absent minded fearful of finding the momentum to move forward in motion lurking in the shadows cast by sunlight no longer in stasis, frozen in sheets so warm, you lack certainty and certainly we can never be so sure. These tattered work strong hands are bleeding to your chorus. When left to the monotonous drone of ticking clocks always chasing a minute-hand but never catching a fever to existing only in my head strong and prolonged drawn out and drown. Bathe in this radiant behavior that you so cleverly disguise as emotion. Stick it out, hang in there, pick yourself up, don't fall too far, the end is nigh and the dawn is dusk. be thorough with your sorrow and never mind tomorrow is the day the becomes today.

Indifferent to definitive answers I become a follower to a false profit. Ignorantly locking my feet in your prints to guide me to a place far away from here.

Lost myself in California

Found myself in Chicago

Lost myself in Chicago

Found myself in California

Transient in these feelings that are sure to pass.

Our hearts were on fire, and so was the city.

I couldn't tell this story to many people, excluding you, particularly because you were present in the story. We stumbled out of our apartment much later than most people, about 4pm. We were going to the store to buy cigarettes and you brought our mini-dv camera. We hadn't slept, on account that we were up all night talking, to put it lightly, and we were mildly delirious. You mentioned something about your drivers license and we got into my car. The drive to the store was shadowed by the looming dark clouds of the fires behind us. You told me it was beautiful but I couldn't stop thinking about how beautiful you were. You filmed the whole ride there. Do you remember?

because I haven't forgotten.

here goes day by day

30 days alive
334 to go
one day
at a time

with you

on my mind

i carry this badge
as a reminder

that i may never find her

in everyone a smile is breached
by a memory
i hold on to
every day

Sad

I miss you already.


I fucking miss you so much.

Momentary

The sting of the cold steal calms for a second I can feel something again.

Let the blood be a sign that you are still living.

Thought I try to forget
I can never forget

And i'm still stuck in your blue eyes

blushing smiles and quick denials

We face ourselves but never together.

Let me in your heart
for a moment we can start

to believe in something bigger.


a friend is a friend
is a friend is a friend
and i'll always remain one.

Appetite

Hunger for faith
in a faithless state of mind.

Finding God everywhere else